i am all wings

i am all wings without feathers
i am all eyes without vision
i am all i am without i am.
!
It is time,
It is time
i take up my cross.
My cross, my cross,
Carry me kindly
to the journey's end
where all things are new again.

You (Another Version)

Being revealed in all things,
How have you become invisible!

I would like to know you.
I like to know you as you really are
And I like to know you
As reflected in all things.
By what thread of equation
Can I weave the invisible
Out of your many mirror-images?

Knowing all things
Should I be?
I,
Made ignorant by too much knowledge,
Should like to know you instead
Without knowing things of the world I live in.
Through knowing you I shall know all things,
As all things are made known through you.

To be with you is to be truly omnipresent,
Being present everywhere.
But it is you I want to arrive at
Without having been anywhere else.

And,
All things though unfinished
In the world circumscribed by my blinded eyes
Are complete in you
Already
As complete as a newly hatched stone.

You

Knowing all things
Should I be?
I, made ignorant by too much knowledge,
Should rather like to know you first
Before knowing the ways of the world I live in.
Through knowing you I shall know all things.
Being with you is to be everywhere
And
All things are complete in you
Without being finished
In the world circumscribed by my blinded eyes.

Whenever you walk into my mind

Whenever you walk into my mind
My eyes become filled
With clouds of Assamese monsoon;
The iceberg beneath my breast
Being warmed by melting blood
Bursts out in precarious imbalance
Steadied only by an unknowing wisdom.
This
Strangely feeling
Amidst uncommonly stirrings
Is vividly comforting.
Even the unruly words
Which so brazenly
Make my lips utterly
Stand silently
Whenever you walk into my thoughts.

Perhaps So

I like the sound of your warm summer voice
Tender and organic
Also I like the golden threads of hair
Falling
On your face of gentle marble
Your eyes of oceanic melancholy
Filled with fire and new day

A heart of flesh and blood implanted in a statue
A heart of flesh beating fast in the vortex of dark nights
A heart of flesh wondering
If love has a fragrance, flavor or a color
If love were a happy melancholia
If love were an untamable beast
And if it spoke in tongues
Perhaps, love is a note of exclamation
In the systolic and diastolic heartbeats
Or just a dream full of questions
Perhaps so
Perhaps it is so
But when it arrives
Even a soul saturated with dirt and soil turns into
A newborn butterfly spreading its wings of transient immortality

Learning to walk

City of dream
A city in a dream
Descending
With a strange joyous melancholy
Of a church bell
Ringing
Far somewhere in the sky
Upon the shadowed walls of

Dreaming
Dreams with thousand walls
Walls with thousand doors
If these doors did not open into one dream
If these dreams did not wake up into one river
And if this river did not flow into itself
Would I crumble and fall back
As broken water
Upon an abandoned altar

Here

Amidst all the unmapped corners
And forgotten census
Let me pause to offer
A simple hymn to God of Resurrection
And fruitfulness and happy death

That

For a change
I may kick the habit of being myself
And stretch out the boulevards
Unfold all the avenues and vistas
Heat up the sidewalks scorched by winter
Open wide the gates of freshly baked bread
And malls of fleshy grapes of succulent life
Perhaps in such imagining
Life may find a brief respite from its many schemes

I can not hold on for long to
The leftover laughter of yesterday’s carnival
I will have to build shelters
To shelter the homeless thoughts

For

What are books without pages
What are pages without thoughts
And what are thoughts without men
And what are dreams if we can not undream them
To chart out a new blueprint for a
Full measure of an undetermined destiny
And a little cottage at the edge
Of an expanding town

For a change
Let me raise my hands and touch
My furrowed forhead
For a change
Let me no longer pretend at undreaming
And perchance wake up free of harsh regrets

In a universe created by you

Having oriented myself towards you in the east
I turn naturally my back on you in the west.
Having learned to speak a language,
I forget so easily that you speak many languages.

O Lord,
While the east and the west on the same locus may
Never be,
But wherever you are, you are everywhere.
In whichever language we pray to you,
We will always pray in a language you have placed
Upon our tongues.

A poem for a harlot

In the evening
Clad in your diaphanous skin
You walk the streets without name
Not knowing where they will take you

Tlok tlok tlok
The sound of your feathered footsteps
As light as the snowflakes of February

With the sound of your heartbeat
You time
The passage of epochs and eras
And your walk becomes
The unalterable rhythm of living

In your gait
All the elements of life are woven
Into a seamless piece of fabric
your body of gold
Epithets of shame when sewn onto
Your skin of ether become stars
And your body is the limitless sky
And you dear lady
You become a constellation

Liberals or Conservatives?

I believe that a society, at any point in time, is a product of dynamic give and take relation that exists between the liberalizing and conserving forces. To espouse liberal ideas is not necessarily unchristian. Jesus Himself taught some liberal ideas without undermining His identity and mission. “It is not against the law to do good deeds on Sabbath” being one among many. In my humble opinion, a society that chooses love over its laws will be an ideal Christian society. Where there is love there is no distinction between liberals and conservatives. Also, without the liberalizing forces, a society would turn into fossil. Similarly, without the conservatives, the society will inevitably slip into chaos. We need them both in our society and Church. I believe,for us Catholics, each idea and issue, regardless of theirlabels, has to be examined not only logically for maximal common good but also with our Catholic conscience.

Moses also Carried His Cross

In a voice quiet and gentle, God calls,
“Moses, Musa, where are you?”

Here, I am, O Lord, wandering in the wilderness,
Searching for water in the sand
And seeking solace among uprooted acacia trees.

The sun gathers its last rays
From mountain tops and valleys
And turn into a cluster of oranges ripened by
Soft autumn heat and sweetened water.

Lord, out of slavery I have brought them this far,
To this thirsty country of
No man’s inheritance.
This fractured land and of deep furrows,
A heartbreak can set it on fire.

I scratch the desert soil
And see the future
Slipping through my fingers.
The silence!
The silence asks me without asking,
“What have you done with us, Moses?”

From the mountaintop
The valley looks tranquil and grotesquely beautiful.
Funny, how distance masks the reality!
Funny, from a distance, how easy it is
To conjure up an illusion of happiness,
Even from the misery of sand and
Sun-dried rocks!

In the distance when we hear a thrush or a nightingale sing,
We believe it is the desert wind playing tricks with our mind.
In the distance if we see a palm tree, we think it is a mirage.
When will you lead us out of our altered reality?
Lord, my people are about to stone me.

Lighten up, Musa. I desire to make you glad
And prosper the work of your hands.

Come, people are thirsty and impatient,
Thirst is crawling up their throats,
And their parched tongues are turning into vipers.
Come, let us quench their thirst
By turning stones
Into icebergs in the desert.
Strike, strike with your staff,
These rocks of Horeb and let them
Melt like snowflake in the sun.
And let my people to their heart’s content drink.

O Lord!
I have with my own eyes seen
When you made water divide the day and night
And the sea, like melon in Egyptian summer,
Fell apart as two slices of moon.
Lord, you are our refuge.
Without you,
We are dust returning to being mere dust.

So, how can they stop me

How else can they stop a nightingale sing if not by slitting its throat?
How else can they stop an eagle from flying if not by ripping its wings off?
How else can they stop me from loving them if not by breaking my heart?
They will come, they will come seeking neither water nor food but my blood;
And I will give them my heart, let them strike at my breast, pierce my heart.
But, my heart, Moses, is indestructible and my love is immutable.

So, how can they stop me from loving them?

Absence

Between the departure and arrival,
From one home of disfigured fortune to another,
You have barely begun your short biography.
On the water were your footprints,
And some unreadable names, written in your blood.
In that geography of brilliant sunshine and endless searching,
We discovered, the excavated landscape of your fragile anatomy.

Ah, Angel!
With your innocence,
You faced the monster.
With death, you paid the price!
And in return we admit in shame,
We could not do you
Justice, you so deserve.
We failed you!

Oh, child of imaginary parents!
To be left so high and dry,
Is it to be your fate always?
Oh, those imaginary parents!
Are they real only in a hallucinated world?

Rise, Angel, rise from the belly of volcano.
Rise from your deep eternal slumber.
Rise with rising sun and freshness of morning.
Let ripples of flowing water cry out.
Let stones of rivers also cry out in protest,
Till absence itself rises with the elements
To unriddle, the enigma you left us.

In your memory,
I plant a drop of ink,
In the sky of this blank page,
May it become a witness to the horror, you saw
In the twilight hours of your frightened eyes.

And Beyond Belief

If I believed it to be thus, would the sun rise
In the west tomorrow?
Or if I believed it to be so, would the lilies bloom
On the dark side of the moon?

Truth,
Here stands truth,
Unconquered and unsubjugated,
Beyond belief and disbelief of man.
And in our knowing and unknowing
We are bound to it irreversibly.

Wherever You are

I live as one lives in a cave unmarked by lines of latitude and longitude:
A cave inside a cave which is my mind.
I live as one lives as naked as a vowel without knowing east from west.
I invent words to name the day I have not lived and let
The twilight erase them with a gesture.
I live in the cave of my mind with nothing but syntax of deep silence.
All day long, I listen to the silence, trespassing in the rooftop of my thoughts.
Confusion is clarity in the dark. I have no name to hide behind.
And, I am transparent without definition.
If I do not speak, it is because I know you can hear my silence.
I have no language to tell you that I love you.
And you do not have the need to hear me say that,
For, you know the weight of a butterfly suspended in its flight.
I do not want to pay the unacceptable price for happiness at all cost.
All I want to do is to collect the dust that rise in your wake,
And, fill them in an hour-glass to mark my time with you,
Walking in your footsteps.
Wherever you are, O Lord, you are everywhere.

Francis Goes to Heaven

It seems,
Out of each heartbeat he was recreated,
And again,
As a dove in an eagle’s feathers.
An eagle
Flying high inside the dome of cage,
Blindfolded and confined.
It was always a matter of time.
For who could keep it thus forever
When it could set the whole forest on fire
With its songs?

Who would have known this?
It seemed like only yesterday!
A man carved out of the rocks of Assisi!
A man setting foot on the roads of Assisi!

With each exhaling and inhaling,
He shed his cloaks of fine linen,
One by one, breath by breath,
Till there was nothing left;
Nothing but the vast and naked
Snow-covered plains of Assisi.

Here is Francis of Porziuncola,
Made uncontainable.
Here is Francis of Assisi,
Set ablaze by love.
Here is Francis of the infinite elements,
Fire, water, everything else and love.
How can a flame be not flamboyant
With so much fire in its wings?

Francis,
Who sings with birds of the air and beasts of the forests,
In one voice which is equal to sum of all silence and
Sum of all creations,
Ignited by love,
Wounded by mercy,
Enriched by poverty,
Hand in hand with his lady love,
Ascends the stairway to heaven;
Barely touching the ground.

My Search Ends at Your Doorstep

These days, I often think of thinking about serious and important thoughts.
And I search for ways to find what I am thinking. In this new enterprise of mine,
I find myself walking alone in the forest. And I am so obsessed that I even let
My past catch up with me. I am glad that they bother to show up. So that
I could ask them a few questions of really genuine importance.

I allow loneliness to drizzle like rain so that I can ask them too.
What is that I want to know from the lichens and the moss?
What is it that I want to differentiate a tree from a stone?
How does an inverted circle look like? Can a man love others
Without loving himself?

But when I ask them the questions, none would stick with me.
They would fall behind me one after another
Pretending to be lost in deep thoughts of their own.
I did not care if they stuck with me or fell behind me.
I kept walking in the midst of my solitude.
I wanted to get at the edge of all questions before the nightfall.
I am in haste. There is too little time and too few hours in a day.
There are too many things I wanted to make friends with.
There are too many friends I wanted to break bread with.
This way I arrive from one part of my past to another without knowing
What I need to know and without finding what I need to find.

In the middle of my solitary walk if I happen to see
A horned-bill woodpecker pecking away at the dead wood,
I instantly find a kindred spirit in him. I feel he is also after something;
Perhaps, a lost dream or two. But he is too busy to tell me his thoughts.
So I instantly grow a pair of beautiful wings and become a woodpecker.
I too begin pecking at the pages of old and unread trunks of dead trees.
I file away what I find under my feather and plumes.
But they are not what I am looking for.
They are not as important to me as the sun is to a newly germinating seed.
If I had wanted, I could continue to be Gabriel the weaver or so and so.
I could have continued to weave beyond the end of the street.
I could have learned just as much that way without being a woodpecker.

So this way and that way, I move from one dry well to another, and, finally,
Arrive at your doorpost with an empty pail, thirsty and hungry;
Still not knowing what to say when I come face to face with you, O Lord!

Heaven Inc.

(Industry: Savings and Love; Corporate Headquarter: 1 Mercy lane)

Heaven Inc.
A blue chip company
With strong fundamentals
And solid balance sheet.

For those looking to invest,
Heaven Inc. is a company
With an earning not so modest.

Known as the Ten Commandments
Their corporate law of governance
Has no history of amendment.

Sometime after 30 AD,
To suit the new millennial investors,
The company underwent restructuring;
Their strength being love and mercy.

The trading symbol used to be OT
Back in the day when Moses was the VP.
Well, now it is traded under NT.

You can buy them shares directly.
You can sell them shares openly.
You don’t pay them no commission,
And you don’t suffer no omission.

The brokers are on their wings
Always ready to place your bids
If you decide to give them a ring.

Telephone lines are open 24/7,
With a customer service
Always prompt and friendly.
They are only a prayer away
If you need their help in any way.

It is a solid company wheeling and dealing,
In an economy which is wide and spreading.

With operations in the far-flung markets of the universe
It has undergone many stock-splits many times over.

All over the world there are many analysts
And Heaven Inc is always in their buy lists.

You do not need a financial adviser,
Because, it never has a bad year.
You can put your trust in the CEO
And invest your money in his portfolio.
And you will never be sorry that you did.

Your return will multiply,
And soon you will realize,
That there is a hundredbagger
In your portfolio!

Are you looking for a way to save up
For your years in golden eternity?
Then consider investing in Heaven Inc.
You will be glad you did.

Heaven Inc.
Our Service is saving soul;
Our strength is people;
And we are located on 1 Mercy Lane.

One and the same

“To see the world in a grain of sand,
And heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.” – W. Blake from “Auguries of Innocence”

“The child is the father of the Man.”-- W. Wordsworth from “My heart leaps up when I behold”

“……Whoever has seen Me has seen the Father.” --Jn. 14: 8

St. Francis of Assisi said

Start doing what is necessary; and then do the possible; and suddenly you find yourself doing the impossible!

Speak little
Learn the words of eternity.
--Rumi

Rumi on Humility

Enter the ruins of your heart
And learn the meaning of humility.

On the Heights of Calvary

For many,
It begins here,
Upon this very mountain,
Upon Calvary,
A journey.

A river also begins,
As if from an undiscovered fountain,
“To run towards the world,”
Towards itself,
A crucifix.

Upon this new Calvary,
Upon this banquet table,
Upon the altar,
We break the bread of flesh,
We pour the wine of blood.

In breaking of the bread,
We take up our own crown of thorns.
In drinking of the wine,
We climb upon the cross.

On the cross with Him,
We hang, in spirit,
On the other side.

In dying, we die with Him
In rising, we rise with Him
Clothed in new body and
Crowned with new spirit.

(The expression “To run towards
the world” is borrowed from
Poem of the Man-God by Maria Valtorta)

Conversion

To spread the chromatogram of thought across
A meadow of electricity.
To rearrange the bisected hemispheres of the earth
Into time without its days and nights, and
Into space without dimensions.
To transform the evening moon into
A butterfly, luminous and flying across the sky of dreaming.
Conversion, a bird of prey hunting for an idiom
In the vertigo of riddles and paradox, and to resurface
As the morning star with crown of flame amidst darkness.

A Poem

Upon this cross is hammered a poem,
A limitless poem for the undead.
Upon this poem is written a lamentation,
A limitless lamenting for a sparrow fallen.
Poetry,
Where will you go from here?
What is your message?
What would you say to
“The land of Zebulun and Naphtali
On the road by the sea
Across the Jordan,
Galilee of the Gentiles?” (Mt. 4: 15)
Repent!

Repent,
To rekindle that extinguished nebula,
To rebuild those decrepit boulevards.
Or, would you sit
By the rivers of Babylon
To weep and mourn,
And mourn and lament, without stopping?
Lament!
To refresh,
That faded summer of marigold,
To renew,
That withered sunflower of hope.

Repent, lament and mourn!
The hour of rejoicing approaches,
The hour of comforting approaches.
Rejoice!
Unto us a child is born,
Unto us the earth has been given, as our inheritance,
And the City of God rises out of blood and dust.

After all that
Rejoicing and lamenting,
In the end,
We find in you,
The unwritable Word,
Written on the expanse of ancient papyrus,
The unutterable Word,
Uttered with the ancient sound of silence.

Poem!
Stay here awhile with me.
I need to lament with your voice,
I need to weep with your tears,
To repaint the faded summer of marigold,
To walk these boulevards in the City of God,
And out of blood and dust, the City of God rising!

Poetry

At what depth of the ocean,
From which root of the sea,
Were you born?
From which block of marble,
With what chisel
Were you carved?
With what tender feather of words,
With what slender snowflake of quill,
With what shade of colored ink
Were you written?

You are neither straight nor winding.
Unknown fruit of the ancient tree!
Unforgotten flower of midnight sun!

I do not know when you will arrive,
Or when you will leave.
I have learnt not to know you
Between your arrival and departure.
I have tutored myself not to think,
Not to think about you between those waking hours.
You often leave me without telling me,
Without telling me that you are not returning.
I can let you go just as easily as
I welcome you in the dark void of mind.
But I would rather have you with me for a good deal.
Not having you with me makes my day grey and long.

Poetry,
In what ancient cave were you created?
In what cultured city were you brought up
That you are at once within and outside
My fractional understanding?

If you try to plant your roots in my breast
I will not protest, and without protesting
I will let you do to me what spring does
To the lily of the field.
I have lived with you
Without knowing you.
I have loved you
Without understanding you.
I have kissed your honeyed words,
And dreamt your winged forms.
You are more beautiful
In that veil of opaque transparency.
So, let me love you without knowing you
And let me spell you out without speaking.

Inseparable

Under the blue Mesopotamian sky
There is a land where barefooted raindrops
Dance on the bloodstained leaves of grass.
Some call it homeland.
For others,
It is a battlefield,
Where ravens of war devour
The expanse of the sky,
Where, in the morning,
The stray dogs greet the dwellers
With insomnia of sharp yelps,
And in the harsh noon,
Vultures feast on their lifeless bodies.

How did we, after having traveled so far,
Arrive at a nightmare such as this?
How did we, after having learned so much,
Join in this carnival of rotten flesh and gunpowder?
In the midst of so much shredded sky
And bloodied landscape
Can one ever find that neglected hope?
Where can one find that refuge?
Will God ever remember to raise,
From the exploded remains of conscience,
Our children without malice?

It is true that we have fought bitterly as foes.
But we have also lived together, long,
Longer than many lifetimes,
In this parenthesized geography.
Isn't it time to close
This book of divided theology
And realize, instead,
How inseparable we are
Under the beautiful Mesopotamian sky?

Acceptable Sacrifice

The sacrifice acceptable to God
is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not
despise.
(Psalm 51: 17)

Is it wrong to put the Lord to the test?

Although it is commanded that one should not put the Lord to the test, He Himself, from time to time, challenges His people to test Him. I find at least two such instances in the Bible:
In Isaiah 7: 11-14
Ask a sign of the Lord your God; let it be as deep as the Sheol or as high as heaven.
12 But Ahaz said, I will not ask and I will not put the Lord to the test.
13 Then Isaiah said, “Hear then O house of David! Is it too little for you to weary mortals, that you weary my God also?
14 Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign. Look the young woman is with child and shall bear a son, and shall name Him Immanuel.
And again in Malachi 3: 10
Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in my house, and thus put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts; see if I will not open the windows of heaven and pour down for you an overflowing blessing.

A Prayer of Simon

The universe is
In the palm of your hand.
You arrange and rearrange
The galaxies and the constellations.
You set the laws of the seasons
And the monsoon rain.
Before Abraham, You were.
And, here you are,
Yoked under the unwanted cross
Of our collected iniquities.
The bruised dusts of the street rise
To settle on your bloodied brows.
And your blood turns into petals
Of rose scattered on the street.

In this physical form
Of Cyrenean countenance,
You placed this bird of my migratory spirit;
And made me a man.
Even before I was born,
You set me on this flight,
To be with you, at this hour appointed
In time and the space of history.
Out of this multitude,
You chose Simon, a man without a face.
If I could speak to the time,
It would tell me
I am blessed among men.
If time could name itself,
What name would it choose for itself?
A moment without history, perhaps.

You made me a man
And put me in this world.
So, I suppose, I am of this world,
And if indeed, had You desired
That I be an angel,
You would have surely made me one.
But You didn’t.
Grant me this, O Lord!
Let me live as man among men,
To love and serve You in their midst.
But remember me with mercy
When I come to your kingdom,
Not for the moment I was harnessed
Together with you,
But for those I was not.

Remembering Psalm 23

(A Psalm of David)
The Lord is my Shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down
In a green pastures;
He leads me beside the still
Waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the path
Of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk
Through the valley of the
Shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For you are with me;
Your rod and your staff,
They comfort me.
You prepare a table
Before me in the presence
Of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy
Shall follow me
All the days of my life.
And I will dwell in the house
Of the Lord
Forever.

Two Lines and anti Parallel

Genesis
Chapter 22

2 He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains that I shall show you.”
9 When they came to the place that God had shown him, Abraham built an altar there and laid the wood in order. He bound his son Isaac, and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.
10 Then Abraham reached out his hand took the knife to kill his son.
11 But the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven, and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.”
12 He said, “Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son from.”

Matthew
Chapter 27

22 Pilate said to them, “Then what should I do with Jesus who is called the Messiah?” All of them said, “Let him be crucified!”
23 Then he asked, “Why, what evil has he done?” But they shouted all the more, “Let him be crucified!”
25 Then the people as a whole answered, “His blood be on us and on our children!”
31……then they led him away to crucify him.

God was truly pleased with Abraham’s obedience and faithfulness. And He reciprocated this gesture of faithfulness to Abraham and his children by sacrificing His Own Son Jesus. The irony, however, is that while God was only testing Abraham and spared Isaac’s life, children of Abraham, on the other hand, truly wanted the blood of God’s only Son.

Against the Practice of Abortion

In the depth of your womb,
Half-dazed and half-frightened,
I cried out with my voice.
In that moment filled with panic, my voice failed,
And in vain, I cried for help.

I am your child;
Child of your love.
Mama, I present to you
My little hands of fetal innocence,
In the hope that they would turn into flowers
In your palm.

But I am frightened by the look in your eyes.
You are tying me up with the umbilical cord of my misfortune.
Why are you laying me down on this cold surface?
You are raising your hand high in the sky.
Why are you raising your hand against me?
Mama, I would like to be born in the spring
Under a deep blue Mediterranean sky,
And the air saturated with fragrance of jasmine.
Where is God of father Abraham?
Should I look for the lamb of the faithful?
It must be somewhere nearby,
Caught in the thickets by its horns.
Mama, what is happening?
Your manicured fingers of feminine elegance
Have turned into a hired killer’s knives.

Be pleased, O Lord, to have mercy on me.

You strike me once, you strike me twice and
You have destroyed, you have
Destroyed my fragile unborn geometry.
Now I can feel my blood rushing out
Out to be in the orange garden.

And it is finished!

I am love demolished.
I am love butchered.
O Woman,
Wounded,
Wounded by my brief existence.
I was your child once,
Child of your negligent love.

You butchered me,
On the altar of feminine freedom.
You butchered me to feed the serpent,
The serpent that lives on
The mangled bodies of discarded babies.

His Master's Voice

3 The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice.
16 I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd (John 10: 3, 4 and 16).

Mary

When the angel Gabriel announced to Mary that she would have a child by the power of the Holy Spirit, Mary was already betrothed to Joseph. When Joseph found out that Mary was with a child, he was not pleased. He could have uttered the “a…..” word but chose not to. He was considering putting her away secretly. Here, some scholars suggest that Mary’s pregnancy was by none other than Joseph himself during the betrothal period. In Jewish custom of the time, upon betrothal, the man and the woman are given conjugal rights by society. Even though they had not started living together, they were considered lawful husband and wife. If he was the father of Mary’s unborn child then Joseph did not have to worry about a scandal. It was not a scandal at all. But he did, thereby strongly supporting the belief that Jesus was not the son of Joseph. Why did he then decide to marry her in the end? Was it because he was so deeply in love with Mary that he decided to forgive and accept her? Could he trust her in the future? I do not know if anybody could answer these questions for Joseph. All sorts of thoughts and emotions run in a man’s body when faced with such crisis. At moments like this it would take a great deal of fortitude to be able to make a wise decision. My guess is that ultimately it happened just the way the Bible tells us. That is, an angel of God told him not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife.
When Mary said “……Let it be done to me according to your word,” she very well knew the danger she was placing herself in. It could be considered an act of adultery. And the price of adultery in the Jewish society of the time was death. Mary, though virgin and full of grace, could have died the death of an adulteress. But God intervened.
Thirty or so years into the future, we find Jesus standing between a murderous crowd and a real adulteress. “Anyone without sin must cast the first stone” was all He said! And a new day was born! Hallelujah!

Wedding at Cana

Recently, I was in our local public library and was casually looking at some of the books with interesting titles, and chanced upon a book titled Custodians of Truth (not the complete title of the book). I wondered what truth it was talking about. As I began reading, I found out that this book talks about our Lord’s marital status and his bloodline. It draws its conclusion on His marriage from John chapter 2 verses 5 and 7. I thought the book was trying to provide some semblance of evidence. So naturally, I was interested and did some reading. In verse 5, I find Mary asking the servants to do what Jesus told them to do. And in verse 7, Jesus was asking the servants to fill the waterpots. The book (Custodian) claims that they would not do this unless they were also members of the groom’s household. Because, in Jewish society, in events such as wedding, only members of the groom’s family could call the servants to duty. And from there, the book takes a big leap to the conclusion that wedding at Cana was our Lord’s own wedding. I was hoping to find citation of some hard evidence, something like an ancient marriage certificate or things of that sort. But none was mentioned. I was disappointed, to say the least. After further reading John chapter 2, I came to my own conclusion that verses 5 and 7 do not get Jesus married off to anyone. I think Jesus could not have been the groom in the wedding at Cana for the following reasons:
Verse 1 says “….mother of Jesus was there.” This does not make her a member of the groom’s household. Perhaps she was there as a relative, cousin, neighbor or an invited guest.
Verse 2 says “...Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding.” How can the groom be invited to his own wedding? Never heard of such a tradition!
In verse 3, mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” If she was the mother of the groom then I would expect Mary saying “We have no wine” as opposed to “They have no wine.”
In Verse 4 Jesus told His mother having no wine was none of His concerns. Would He have said that if He was the groom? Not likely.

Here is John 2 (NKJV). Take a look.
On the third day there was a wedding at Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there.
2 Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding.
3 And when they ran out of wine, mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”
4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.”
5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever he says to you, do it.”
6 Now there set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece.
7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim.
8 And He said to them, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it.

To St. Philomena

There was a kind
Of antique resplendence
And purity of crystals.
There was a straight line
Of bloody death,
Drawn from one page
To another and
Then to another;
In that book of
prodigal obscurity
And burial.
There was death everywhere.
There were remains
Of unleashed infernos
In that ancient air.
But you rose,
From a deep slumber,
Into a new dawn
Impenetrable by water, salt and arrows;
Dividing the time into many equal parts
With your tender fingers.

On the other side of Calvary

I heard Your Voice in my head.
Without being there I was there,
Creeping along the walls behind the throng of men
To avoid Your searching glance.
I knew You were looking for me.
But I hid under cover of my own shadow.
I did not wish to feel the pain in your sorrow.
There was too much sadness in your sorrow,
A sadness more than I can embrace.
I was afraid!
I was afraid to look at
Your bloodied face
And blinded eyes.
I knew You saw me.
But You pretended as if you didn’t;
You moved on.
I heard Your voice in my head;
I heard You murmur,
“Ma, not to worry, not to worry!
I shall make everything new again.”
Perhaps, You were murmuring to someone
Plundered by love.

Atop the Calvary, from the heights of the cross
One more time, before Your last breath
You looked through Your blinded eyes,
Far into the future and saw me cowering
Under the cloak of my own shadow.
When You closed Your mortal eyes
The night ended and
My thin shadow of pathetic guise
Fell at my feet.

And I was in another street!

I was in another street,
Running fast, as fast as I could avoid
The darkness in the street.
I was running, running away from You
To be with You on the other side of Calvary
Without my unbearable sorrows.

Defending Padre Pio

I came upon an article about St. Pio in the London Telegraph published sometime in 2007. The article reports on a book by Sergio Luzzatto written about the saint. The book alleges that St. Pio used carbolic acid to fake his stigmata. This allegation left me a little disturbed, to say the least. After all, he is my patron saint. And here, I want to say a few words in his defense. I have not had the chance to see the book; much less read it. Agreed, in order to make a good defense, one ought to examine its contents. Looks like, I am not going to bother taking a look at it. I just need to focus on one line in the article.The article cites one incident where Padre Pio requested a Maria De Vito to get him 4 grams of pure carbolic acid. The article also emphasizes that Padre Pio instructed her not tell anyone about it. This is taken to mean that Padre pio was using carbolic acid to inflict stigmata like wounds on his body.
I would like to mention a few words about the chemical and pharmacological properties of Carbolic acid. Carbolic acid is an old name for phenol. It has been used in curing certain cases of ailments. But phenol is a highly toxic compound. The lowest reported lethal dose for human is 140mg per kg of body weight. It is used for execution by injection at least in the Nazi concentration camps. It is a neurotoxic compound with offensive smell. Phenolic fume causes irritation of eye and the respiratory tract.
Padre Pio’s biography tells us that he received stigmata sometime in 1911. If Padre had discovered that by applying carbolic acid on the skin he could produce wound resembling Christ’s wound on his body, then its seems logical to assume that external application of an agent would produce a visible external lesion, and yet biographical accounts of padre Pio clearly state that stigmata were of internal in nature at the beginning.
According to the news article, it was July of 1919, when Padre Pio made the request for Phenol. Clearly, this would suggest that one-time application of phenol is not sufficient to create a permanent wound. Therefore, one would have to apply phenol from time to time to give a look of permanency to the wounds. Padre carried stigmata on the palms, back of his palms, feet and side of his chest for 50 years. Four grams of phenol that he procured in 1919 surely would not have been enough to keep it going. He must have needed new supplies of phenol. Was Maria De Vito his only source? Or there were others? If there were others, have they come forward to testify?
Phenol is a systemic poison. It is also a strong denaturing agent. It destroys protein component of the cells. So, chronic exposure to it for 50 long years, even at sub-lethal dose, would produce, besides skin lesion, other harmful effects on the body. I would expect he would exhibit symptoms of semi-paralyzed fingers due to the damaged nerves at least in and around the regions where phenol was applied. But he did not seem to have such problems as evidenced by his continued ability to offer Eucharistic Sacrifice which required tactile fingers for the operation till his very old age. Besides, phenol is very readily absorbed by the skin. If the allegation of Sergio Luzzatto is true, Padre Pio would have sub-lethal amounts of phenol circulating in his body for 50 years. I can neither reconstruct his health profile nor tell how he would look like after poisoning himself continually with phenol for 50 years. But even a quick google search would reveal the range of debilitating effects phenol would have on human health. By contrast, and from all accounts, Padre Pio, in his later years, enjoyed good health.
Phenol has a very strong disagreeable smell. The smell is irritating and produces burning sensation. Even a trace amount of phenol produces readily detectable and unmistakable smell. A person applying phenol on his body on a regular basis ought to be carrying phenolic smell around him. It is said that Padre Pio exuded odor resembling rose fragrance. Smell of pure phenol is not rose fragrance. So he must have perfumed himself with fragrance of rose. A Franciscan who wears perfume! Now that’s news! A boy of nine, who fasted regularly, slept on hard surface, used rock as pillow, spent long time on his knees praying, was now beginning to wear perfume to hide a secret. Seems like an overextended thread of storyline. But let’s go along with the story. So if he needed perfume, then he must have had a perfume supplier also. Has anyone come forward identifying him/herself as the perfume supplier?
Finally, Man who spends hours praying to God is also man with conscience. A man who sits in the confessional hearing confessions of others is also a man trying to ease the conscience of the penitents. Would or could such a man with his own unconfessed sin sit before God all those hours all those years with a clear conscience? He couldn’t have. Because, Lord may be readily forgiving but not the conscience of man! Padre Pio was a man in perpetual prayer. Lord gave him ample grace and mystical gifts. He didn’t need carbolic acid!

Ascending the Calvary within

I have always desired to climb the heights of this mountain. Every path, I have taken in my lifetime, brings me to the foot of this mountain. “What mountain is this?” I asked a passerby. He smiled and offered to crucify me instead. Not to have known the mountain, He said I must be a stranger to myself.
This is Golgotha;
Calvary of the mind,
The mountain within.
He said, “You do not have to, if you do not want to. But it is good for you, if you did.”
“Did what,” I asked?
“Ascend to the top.
That is where you get the cross off your back. You have been carrying it for a long time.”
“How do you know?”
“I have my sources.”
Now, I will have to scale this mountain. There is no turning back. Not to have at least attempted the ascent would be a betrayal.
“On my own I may not make it to the top.”
He said not to worry,
“There is someone willing to help.”
I said, “Who, Simon of Cyrene?”
He said, “You truly are stranger to yourself.
You are Simon of Cyrene.”
I asked, “How do you know?”
“I have my sources.”
That was the reply.
“O Simon, Simon
My old friend!
Without you
I would have failed
In My mission.
Without your help
The Roman soldiers
Would have killed Me
Before the appointed hour.”
Just as Simon of Cyrene helped Him carry His cross, now, there is the risen Christ willing to help each one carry their cross up the mountain.
Atop the Calvary of the world,
They crucified Him.
Atop the Calvary within,
We shall crucify sin,
So that man shall be man again.

Jesus of the miracles

We do not worship God merely because He said something nice and beautiful. If that were so, today we would be worshipping a great number of men and women as gods and goddesses, just because they said and wrote beautiful things and performed great deeds. We admire and honor our great men and women, heroes and heroines but we do not worship any one of them. Our worship is only to God. We worship God for many reasons. For me, the reason, at the most basic level, is my fear of hell. I do not like the tropical heat. Therefore, it is very less likely that I would like the overheated living conditions in hell. Also, we worship God for many marvelous and wonderful things He did. And those things that He did, He did them in scales and magnitude far beyond the circle of human ability. We simply called these wonderful deeds of God miracles. Miracles, spectacular or otherwise, are His way of touching people’s lives. God without miracle is a God who does not have any ties with man. Would we have worshipped a God, though supernatural and all powerful, but has nothing to do with our lives? I doubt it. Why worship a God who turns His back on us? Dostoevsky’s Ivan Karamazov (Brothers Karamazov) says, “Man is expected to live by faith only and not by miracles.” But miracles are the fruits of the faith. Miracles follow faith. God wants to make miracles happen. In fact, from time to time, God puts man in situation where He would show him His wondrous miracles. When Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, he led them through the Red Sea. There was a way around the sea. Moses knew the way. He crossed the desert twice without having to walk on the waters of the Red sea. Then why did he not lead them by the same route he traveled before? By leading them straight to the sea, Lord was setting up His people for a miracle that they would remember for a very long time. Again, it was His way of telling the Israelites that He was with them and to put their trust in Him to pull them out of their difficulties. Our God is a God of many miracles. But as Christians, we have a much better reason to worship God than any of these miracles. That God loves us so much that He gave His only Son is a reason better than any other. I believe in the miracles of Jesus and also Jesus of the many miracles. Jesus without miracle is simply unthinkable!

When in deep crisis

13 But as for me, my prayer is to You
O Lord, in the acceptable time;
O God, in the multitude of Your mercy,
Hear me in the truth of Your salvation.
14 Deliver me out of the out of the mire,
And let me not sink;
Let me be delivered from those who hate
me,
And out of the deep waters.
15 Let not the floodwater overflow me,
Nor let the deep swallow me up;
And let not the pit shut its mouth on me.
16 Hear me, O Lord, for your lovingkindness
Is good;
Turn to me according to the multitude of
Your tender mercies
17 And do not hide Your face from Your
Servant,
For I am in trouble;
Hear me speedily.
18 Draw near to my soul and redeem it;
Deliver me because of my enemies.

Understanding the Will of God

From time to time in the history, when God wants something done, He reveals His will to whomever He picks for the job at hand in no uncertain terms. The Bible records many such stories. Moses was a happy man in the desert, happily married to a beautiful daughter of a Midian high priest, tending sheep in and around the foot of the mountains in the desert. Then one day it happened. Out of the burning bush, a voice called him and told him to go back to Egypt and free His people. What happened after that is a common knowledge to both the Jews and Christians. Peter and Andrew were fishermen. They were working all night with little luck. They were giving up and cleaning their nets when Jesus showed up and told them to launch the boat out into the deeper part of the lake and cast their net. To their shock, they caught more fish than they ever dreamt of catching in their wildest dreams. At that point, Peter realized that the man was no ordinary man. So he told Him, “Go away Lord, I am a sinful man.”Jesus told him not to worry about it and He told them to follow Him instead. Saul of Tarsus was on the way to Damascus on a mission with not so good intention. And then out of the blue, Lord just appeared as a light brighter than the sun and knocked him down from his high horse, turned him round and round a few times spiritually, and then told him to go to the Gentiles and preach His gospel among them. Similarly, St. Francis of Assisi, while praying before a Crucifix, heard a voice telling him to repair His house. In such cases, these individuals did not have any trouble in discerning the will of God; because He did it for them in no subtle terms. What about the rest of us who have not been told clearly as to what He wills us to do or be in our lives? I often find myself wondering if I am walking in the general direction in which God wants me to walk or I am way off by a 180° margin of error. How does one discern His will with absolute certainty? Must one always take a leap of faith and say to oneself without a shade of doubt, “This is it. This is what God wants me to be?” Or is it that His will is already preprogrammed in our mind, so we instinctively act and do things according to His will and design? It is hard to say. It is impossible to read God’s mind. Advice like ‘Ask Him in prayer to reveal His will’ is good. But one still has to listen to one’s own ‘inner voice’ during the prayer. What if ‘the inner’ voice is always in the habit of saying ‘No’ to all the questions one puts in prayer? Is there any hope left then?
Recently, I have been reading some writings about St. Francis of Assisi and St. John of the Cross. These two great saints had very different approaches to understanding God’s Will.
First, the St. Francis way: here, he is talking to his companions, “After discarding every desire of your heart, whatever that is left in your heart would be those you hate the most. Doing what you hate the most with perfect charity is the perfect will of God.” That is tough, even for Francis himself. But he did it!
Second, the St. John way: Desires of your heart are by the will of God. He puts these desires in your heart and He desires to fulfill them for His glory. These views will, perhaps, make it easier for many in their quest for the Will of God.
As for me, I neither know how to read God’s mind nor discern His Will. So I place my trust in Him and do whatever I need to do. Perhaps I am wrong; but it is my belief that as long as one puts oneself within the general vicinity of God’s grace, He always finds a way to bring you where He wants you to be; even if you were way off by 180° margin of error.

Against poverty but not the poor

Our Lord says, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven.” Does this mean that the poor go to heaven automatically because of poverty? Seems like it. Because the Bible says, “Blessed are you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God (Luke 6:20NKJV).” How can this be? For just as there are good and bad among the poor, there are also good and bad among the rich. Besides, Abraham, our spiritual ancestor, whom the Lord increased immensely and blessed richly, in spite of his wealth, went to heaven. Because, he trusted the Lord and it was accounted to him as righteous. From this, it is clear to me that neither poverty nor prosperity adds or subtracts one iota from one’s prospect of salvation. All the poor are not necessarily pure in spirit. In fact, poverty more often succeeds in crippling the body, mind and spirit. It is doubtful that such poverty provides any guarantee for a spot in heaven at all. But the ‘Lady Poverty’ of St. Francis of Assisi is a poverty that is higher than itself. It is a spirit of generous love and compassion in poverty. Those who practice this poverty are the happy poor! They are called the blessed. Therefore, Lord says again, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven (Mathew 5:3 NKJV).” Poor in spirit is a state of mind. Both the rich and the poor can be poor in spirit. When one is poor in spirit one is pure indeed. It is this spirit that enables us to give and receive love without counting the cost. In the final analysis, our Lord, perhaps, does not care who had been poor or rich in the past life. Heaven is His kingdom. We enter heaven not by our merits but at His pleasure. And we are earnestly invited to trust Him.

Is it You, O Lord?

Someone beside me,
Someone in my mind,
A face, entangled
Among my uncollected thoughts.
I can not remember you;
Nor see you with clarity.
Who are you?
Memory is a river that returns
To gather what it left behind.
On the other side of memory
Is my immeasurable forgetfulness.
And in forgetfulness,
I long to gather,
Those unremebered faces and
Long forgotten names.
But of you,
I can not say I remember.
And also,
I can not say I do not.
Between remembering
And forgetting,
My thoughts are like
A multitude of sunflowers,
Suspended in an abandoned sky,
A sky abandoned by
The vagrant sun.
Although,
All I can say
Is very much limited by
My finite recollections,
You always seem to stand,
Here and there, and everywhere;
Amorphous and crystalline,
Opaque and transparent,
Infinite but also full of irony.
Who are you?
Are You I am that I am?
Is it really You, O Lord?

A Mystic in our Midst

A new book on Mother Teresa of Calcutta (Kolkata) is just out. Who would have thought that a person of faith like Mother Teresa would experience such spiritual vacuum or absence of God from her day-to-day life? She seemed to have gone through a long part of life feeling distanced by God. And yet the experience is not uncommon among people who seek union with God. St. John of the Cross described such feeling as “dark night of the soul.” St. Francis of Assisi went through periods of such spiritual turmoil. This feeling of being far from God usually comes later in the spiritual journey of an individual. I can not say why it is so.
I can offer a crude analogy to this experience. The earth is an integral part of our existence. And yet, none really feels its movement. From the passing time of the day and changing season, we know it is moving ceaselessly. May be that when one achieves a higher degree of union with God one feels less and less of Him. Possible? I am neither a mystic nor an expert in mysticism. These are only random thoughts of mine. However, for those who would like to read the articles written about this aspect of Mother Teresa’s faith based on the new book, links are provided.

Two Birds

Two birds flying side by side,
And love becomes the wind.

Two birds flying side by side,
The sky is the storm,
The time, the violent clouds.

Two birds flying side by side
In a sky vacated, at times, by
The silent absence of wind.
And, God becomes the wind
Beneath their wings.

In the Garden of Eden

I have often wondered at how God is presented as an angry God in the Book of Genesis. I can not fathom why he was so angry with Adam and Eve. He is, after all, an omniscient God; therefore, He must have foreseen Adam and Eve committing the first sin of the creation. So, when that which He already knew would happen finally happened, why was God so angry? He could have either prevented it or started all over again. In fact, He is known to have brought down death and destruction over the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah for their sinful way of living. He is also known to have brought on a flood that covered the earth for days to cleanse the earth by wiping out its sinful inhabitants. He knew the sin of Adam and Eve would perpetuate and affect the whole humanity. So He could have simply shortened their days and create anew. No, He did not do that, and instead, He cursed them and expelled them from the Garden of Eden. This story baffles me. It contradicts our idea of Him as a good and compassionate God.
When I read of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, I simply try to imagine a softer story line. Perhaps I am wrong, but that is what I generally do whenever I read the story of creation in the Book of Genesis. We believe that God is omniscient, knowing the past, present and what is to come in the future. He always knew that no matter what He did, man would always commit sin. Therefore, He did not see any use in starting a new creation. Realizing that, He let them leave the Garden of Eden. And the young couple set forth to explore new frontiers. Also, I would like to imagine that God, being compassionate, told them He would always be with them, through thick and thin, till the end of time. When I think of God, I like to think of Him as the father in the story of the prodigal son.

A Poor Carpenter? Think Again

Christians of every stripe and color say that Jesus was a poor carpenter from Nazareth. And He Himself testified to that by saying, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” But available evidences do not really support the notion of a poor Jesus. Following is an excerpt from a long list of His deeds.

Mark 8
2 I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now been with Me three days and have nothing to eat.
3 And if I send them away hungry to their own houses, they will faint on the way; for some of them have come from afar.
4 Then His disciples asked Him, “How can one satisfy these people with bread here in the wilderness?”
5 He asked them, “How many loaves do you have?” And they said, “Seven.”
6 And He commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground. And He took the seven loaves and gave thanks, broke them and gave them to His disciples to set before them; and they set them before the multitude.
7 And they had a few small fish; and having blessed them, He said to set them before them.
8 So they ate and were filled, and they took up seven large baskets of leftover fragments.
9 Now those who had eaten were about four thousand. And He sent them away.

Mathew 17
24 And when they had come to Capernaum, those who received the temple tax came to Peter and said, “Does your Teacher not pay the tax?”
25 He said, “Yes.” And when he had come into the house, Jesus anticipated him, saying, “What do you think, Simon? From whom do the kings of the earth take customs or taxes, from their own sons or from strangers?”
26 Peter said to Him, “from strangers.” Jesus said to him, “Then the sons are free.”
27 “Nevertheless, lest we offend them, go to the sea, cast in a hook, and take the fish that comes up first. And when you have opened its mouth, you will find a piece of money; take that and give it to them for Me and you.”

John 2
On the third day there was a wedding at Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there.
2 Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding.
3 And when they ran out of wine, mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”
4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.”
5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever he says to you, do it.”
6 Now there set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece.
7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim.
8 And He said to them, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it.
9 When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom.
10 And he said to him, “Everyman at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guest have well drunk, then that which is inferior; but you have kept the good wine until now.”
In addition, the number of people He healed were just too many to write about. He was also known to bring dead people back to life occasionally.
Pretty impressive, eh?!
These are what He did on a day to day basis when he was here on earth. Certainly, a Man with that power can not be considered poor in any sense of the word.

Love and revenge

Love is the best form of revenge.

For those who disagree

Once I saw on PBS an interview of a very prominent and respected American evangelist by David Frost. It was a long time ago. But I still remember that part of the interview where the preacher was asked if he ever committed adultery. He said no. Now, the Bible defines adultery in a very broad sense. So, I assume, the preacher being a man of God would also instinctively define adultery in the same scope and range as the biblical definition. It is hard for a healthy natural man not to have entertained sexual thoughts even if it lasted a brief moment. Therefore, under the biblical definition, most of us mortals would definitely have committed at least one act of adultery (a conservative estimate) before the week ends. Therefore, modern man tries to console himself with such saying as “One can not prevent a bird from flying over one’s head, but one can certainly prevent it from making its nest on one’s head.” I heard this saying from someone wise and it made a lot of sense. Also, it gave me a tremendous sense of relief. However, to temper the biblical definition with practical logic is meant only for common man. But a man of God has to meet a much higher standard in his observance of the words of God. So, I began to wonder if God grants a certain grace of chastity to certain people so that they are free from the sin of adultery. And if he does, is it mentioned somewhere in the Bible? So, I did some research and this is what I found. Here, our Lord is discussing with His disciples.

Mathew 19 (NKJV)
9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.
10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not marry.”
11 But He said to them, “All can not accept this saying but only those to whom it has been given.”
12 For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it. Catholic saints and mystics were able to maintain chastity. It is true all of them faced temptation of the flesh at one time or another. Even St. Francis of Assisi himself was known to have fought against such temptations. But all of them triumphed over the flesh. On their own, they might have succeeded for first time, second time or third time, but eventually desires of the flesh will get the better of them. Here again, I quote our Lord Himself, “All can not accept this saying but only those to whom it has been given.” So, it is actually grace of God which encourages these men and women mystics and saints to reject such temptations and fight and triumph over them.

When I think of God’s grace and being filled with it, I think of St. Mary. After all, she was the one who carried Him for nine months in her womb, nursed Him, bathed Him, changed His diapers, sang lullaby to Him. She was there with Him at birth and she was there at the foot of the Cross at death. He lived with her all His life. Therefore, who on earth would be more filled with grace of God if not Mary? Honestly, I can not think of anyone. If Mother Teresa was preserved in her virginity by the grace of God, how much more wouldn’t our Lord do for His own mother? That is why I believe St. Mary was virgin all her life.

On how to be fruitful

John 15
5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
7 if you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.
8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.
10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.
12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

Immaculate Conception and Biology

I often encounter questions regarding the genetic heritage of our Lord Jesus Christ. What would it be like? Would He have any chromosome at all? Did He need any chromosome to be Himself? If He did, then how many? As we are in the DNA age, some tend to look at Jesus as a genetic being. But one should not forget that He is also a God of all creations with infinite ways to make things happen, and so, He could have given Himself something totally unique, never-to-be repeated-twice type of molecular identity. I can not imagine what that would be like, because with God everything is possible. However, to conform to the spirit of being like a human, he could have also simply adopted human genetic make-up which is already available.

Parthenogenesis is by far the only mode of reproduction in nature that comes closest to birth by Immaculate Conception. Lower vertebrates are known to reproduce by parthenogenesis on rare occasions. In recent times, a virgin Komodo dragon named Flora gave birth to four offspring in a British zoo. In reproduction by means of parthenogenesis, the progeny will have the sex and genetic make-up of the mother. Therefore, Our Lady’s own state of conception without sin can be explained by parthenogenesis. Parthenogenesis line of explanation, however, runs into problem with the birth of Our Lord. Because, He is Man. Reproduction by parthenogenesis does not yield male progeny. Therefore, this leads to other questions. Did one of the X- chromosomes undergo mutation thus making it behave like a perfect Y-chromosome rather than an X-chromosome? This transformation must occur in the mother so that the child can be normal. Does anybody know of any case of such chromosomal transformation?
Here, we began with valid questions and end up with more questions which, without a doubt, will lead to more speculations and questions. Therefore, Immaculate Conception will remain safely one of the sacred mysteries of our Christian faith for a long time!

Is it possible?

It was too early to reveal. At the time when Moses appeared, Man did not have the knowledge base necessary to understand the creation of universe and life on earth and elsewhere. So, Moses was given only a gist of the gist of creation story. Centuries later, a fuller story of creation of life was revealed to Charles Darwin at first, and then to many others who followed him.

Virgin Mary

Is it too much to ask that in the center of every great story, there is a heroine, or, without a heroine, no great story is ever truly great?
Without Mary, would New Testament story be the same? Or, was it that, it did not really matter who it was, so long as mother to be was a virgin? Or, was Mary the only virgin available, at the time, in the whole of Israel? Or, was it by an act of random choice that fell upon Mary? Or was Mary specially intended from the very beginning to be His mother? In other words, was Mary conceived without sin?
“Good fruits come from only good trees.” God created Mary good so that she could be His mother.
In obedience, she presents Him, in flesh and blood, to the world. And in obedience, she participates in the story of sacrifice to redeem the world.
Though scantily mentioned in the New Testament, in a span of few centuries, she emerges as the feminine face of the church, as Mother to those who call her mother.
It would not be wrong to say that Mary is, indeed, the heroine of the story of human redemption through Christ.

Was St. Paul a stigmatist?

Galatians 6:17 (NKJV)
17 From now on let no one trouble me, for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.

Psalm 90: 1, 2

Lord, You have been our dwelling place in all the generations.
2 Before the mountains were brought forth,
Or ever You had formed the earth and world,
Even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God.

For those who toiled all night and caught nothing

Luke 5:3-10 (NKJV)
3 Then He got into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, and asked him to put out a little from the land. And He sat down and taught the multitudes from the boat.
4 Now when He stopped speaking, He said to Simon, “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.”
5 But Simon answered and said to Him, “Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at your word I will let down the net.”
6 And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking.
7 So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink.
8 When Simon peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!”
9 For he and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish which they had taken;
10 and so also were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid. From now on you will catch men.”